Get over it

“If one person is offended, we have to listen.”

That, my friends, is a quote from NFL Commissioner Roger Goodall, being interviewed about the Redskins name – as in the Washington Redskins. 

To which I respond:  No, you don’t.  

You don’t have to respond to every hare-brained nitwit always on the lookout for something that offends them.  Or about something they think might offend someone else. 

It’s like the NCAA telling college teams they need to change their names and mascots, because someone, somewhere, might be offended. 

So you’ll now find few college teams named Warriors, Indians, or Braves or after specific tribes.  Central Michigan University teams were allowed to remain Chippewas after being approved by a Chippewa tribe; FSU teams are still the Seminoles after approval by the Seminole Tribe of Florida. 

Now as a UF graduate I am prejudiced against FSU.  But for the record there never really was an indigenous Florida “Seminole tribe.”  The “tribe” was originally comprised mostly of runaway slaves and banished outcasts from other tribes north of Florida.  The guy on the horse with the war paint and the flaming spear at FSU games is pure mythology. 

If FSU wanted to have someone truly representative of Florida’s Seminoles they’d have a casino dealer arrive on an airboat loaded with cheap cigarettes.  And instead of sticking a flaming spear in the ground, he’d wrestle an alligator. 

Politically incorrect, but more accurate.  And certain to offend someone, somewhere. 

Chances are, if you’re named Tiger or Osceola something and live off Tamiami Trail, that wasn’t funny.  But if you’ve ever traveled down to the Florida Keys on US 1, you get it.   Don’t feel guilty. 

So what’s the point in making some college team known as the Warriors for almost a century to suddenly become the Pioneers or some other innocuous name?  It wasn’t as if they demeaned warriors everywhere.  But on the very off chance they might – political correctness won out. 

The same political correctness has also struck high school teams.  Because someone thought someone might be offended. 

So say goodbye to the chiefs, warriors, braves and names that may have the word “red” in them – like Red Raiders – that generations of high schoolers cheered on. 

The ultimate in political correctness run amuck in sports team names may be from Utah.  There a team changed its name from Cougars because the local school board thought that might be offensive to a certain type of woman who prefers younger men. 

The team became the Chargers – which in an equally remote way might be disrespectful toward those with credit problems.  So far, no problems. 

Listen, if  you spend your entire life – or career – focused almost exclusively on not offending or upsetting anyone at all, you’re not going to get much accomplished and life is going to be very boring.  Very, very boring.  

Plus, there will be no jokes, no satire, no “dark sarcasm in the classroom” (Pink Floyd), no making fun of anything that’s patently stupid.   

In a nation of 300+ million people, somebody, somewhere, is always going to be offended by something. We simply can’t let the tyranny of the thin skinned or chronically offended to overrule common sense.  Sometimes a joke is just a joke. 

And sometimes a sports team’s name is just a name.

We need to lighten up and stop taking every little thing so seriously. 

The Red Robin hamburger chain caught Hell for a joke in a commercial that in addition to a big line of burgers they also offered a garden burger “just in case your daughter’s going through a phase.”  

Vegans were outraged that someone made fun of them; that someone would be dismissive of vegetarianism as a “phase.”   They demanded Red Robin pull the spot.  

Volkswagen got hammered for a spot with a white guy in Minnesota so happy with his new VW that he gets into a Jamaican “don’t worry, be happy” state of mind, complete with accent, and cheers up his coworkers.  VW was accused of being racist.    

Coke ran a Super Bowl commercial set in a desert with Las Vegas showgirls, cowboys, Mad Max types, and Bedouins on camels all racing toward an oasis.  It was derided as racist, because the Bedouins were on camels. Arabs here were offended; they thought the ad fed negative stereotypes of Arabs.    

(Apparently Las Vegas showgirls, cowboys, and Mad Max motorcyclists – all stereotypes themselves – had no issues with the commercial.)

Very recently, Hobby Lobby – a chain of avowedly Christian stores – was flamed in social media for offering Christmas decorations but not Hanukah decorations as a matter of policy. 

Look, somebody is always offended by something.  The question is, do you care? 

No, I mean that.  Forget being politically correct.  Drop the compassion you’re conditioned to think you should have.  Look into your heart and see if you honestly and truly care about a lot of stuff that seems to offend people. 

Like saying Merry Christmas.  Yes, there are people who are apparently offended by this.  But they are few and far between.  Contrary to Bill O’Reilly, I don’t think there’s a “War on Christmas.”  However, I will concede that there might very well be a war on common sense being waged by professional, perpetual complainers who contend they are offended by the most mundane stuff. 

“Christmas trees” are now renamed “holiday trees” so as not to offend anyone.  That's stupid.  

In Cherry Hill, they stopped celebrating Halloween in public schools because it was deemed a religious holiday.  Yeah, don’t know about you, but this Protestant kid never associated trick-or-treat with the eve of All Saints’ Day.  I don’t remember anyone dressing up as a saint, either.  Nobody on my block gave out candy crosses, nor carved pumpkins with a likeness of the Martyrdom of San Sebastian. 

So much for the Easter Bunny, too.  I’m a fairly well-read guy, yet I don’t seem to recall how Easter Egg Hunts, Easter Parades and baskets filled with candy directly relate to the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ.  Here I just thought the Easter Bunny was about spring.

Now, some of these overreactions may tick you off.  But we’ve all gotten used to such nonsense. 

True story.  Some years ago a friend happened to attend a Baptist church service for the first time.  He said he was shocked when the minister kept mentioning “Jesus Christ” in his sermon.  My friend was so conditioned to be politically correct he said he almost flinched every time the minister said “Christ” aloud, like it was a forbidden word.  Jesus was one thing; Jesus Christ was quite another – you just didn’t say Christ in public for fear of offending someone.   

Another true story.  Some years ago I met a new client who casually asked if I was a Hebe.  I was stunned and frankly speechless just to hear the word, especially from a Jew.  It was a knee-jerk reaction on my part, from years of being trained not to use offensive words like Hebe.

We laugh about it now, but I actually panicked at that moment. 

I guess the point is that we can’t be so sensitive to every little thing that’s said.  We can’t live a full life walking on tiptoes for fear of offending someone.  Certainly we don’t want to consciously offend someone deliberately. But we can’t constantly overreact to every single person that finds something hurtful in the most innocuous things.

Somebody somewhere is going to be pissed off about something.

Get over it. They will, too. Eventually. 

And if they don’t … too bad.