Unofficial update from a resident of Sumter County, FL ...

The demographically oldest county in the country is doing fine. 

I bet that surprises everyone. Old people are supposed to dropping like flies from the coronavirus right now.  Then again, thousands of Americans should be dead by now or are soon to be if you believe the fearmongers dominating the news. 

If there ever were to be a danger zone it should be here in The Villages, Florida.  The average age here is 66+; this does make this the oldest county demographically in the United States. 

That’s not to say the virus won’t eventually make it to The Villages, or that when it does it won’t wreak havoc, but so far we’re not seeing it. Sure, we have the assholes wiping out shelves of toilet paper and Clorox wipes, and I haven’t seen hand sanitizer on the shelves in weeks. 

Yet the panic buying seems to have settled down a bit lately. We were at our Walmart Neighborhood Market a day or so ago – it’s one of their small-store concepts – and they had stacks of fresh produce, plenty of milk, bread, eggs, juice, canned goods, pasta, cereal, etc. Prices were about the same as always – no sign of gouging.  Plus, gas at their station was down below $2 a gallon.   

Our little Walmart was out of toilet paper of course, but that’s probably because of the assholes who think TP is suddenly a hedge against the virus; some of them lined up at 7AM recently at a local Publix because of a rumor that store had gotten a shipment overnight.  Our Walmart also had plenty of bottled water on pallets, which some bozos had been panic buying as if they believed for some reason our municipal water systems would somehow stop working.

In terms of basic necessities, our grocery stores are restocking as usual.  And certainly, this being The Villages, while the shelves may be bare of rubbing alcohol from time to time, the liquor, wine and beer shelves remain fully stocked at all times. Nobody is running out of food or drink. 

Now, there have been some radical changes.  The Villages has shut down the free nightly live entertainment on the three town squares for the time being. Restaurants here are closing their sit-down dining areas and shifted to all take-out or delivery.  Events at the rec centers and entertainment venues have all been cancelled and our movie theaters are all closed.

Gyms and indoor fitness centers may be closed but the pools are all open.  The golf courses remain open and I see people out golfing every day. 

Yesterday our first drive through virus testing site opened. However, to use it you first have to do a telehealth visit with a doctor to confirm your symptoms and get approved before you’re eligible for testing.  That’s probably going to piss off many of the perpetual whiners here – mostly from the Northeast, and often snowbirds – who have no symptoms at all but still feel entitled to be tested, because, well, they’re SOOOO important.  Just ask them …

We’re all still hoping that April will start the northward flocking of the snowbirds. God willing they’ll all be gone by May 1, and we’re hopeful the virus will have petered out by then, too.  Two scourges will have – we hope – run their course for this year. 

Until then, we’ll just have to deal with the inconveniences posed by both.

That’s the unofficial update from America’s demographically oldest county.    

Despite what the terrorists on cable and network TV and online are putting out every day, old people aren’t keeling over in the streets from the coronavirus everywhere we go.  At least not here in The Villages. Not yet, and perhaps not at all if we’re lucky. 

And if we continue to use common sense about social distancing, staying away from sick people, and washing our hands.