When everyone has special needs ...

As a society we’ve allowed “special needs” to get out of control. 

That’s not to say there aren’t people who need special assistance to function in the world.  There are people with physical disabilities from birth, injuries, or devastating or degenerative illnesses. There are the visually and hearing impaired. And those with serious mental illnesses that can only be managed through treatment and medication.    

We have a collective responsibility to help them as much as possible.  

But somewhere along the line merely being uncomfortable became a special need. And being unpleasant became an acceptable way to get whatever you want. 

That’s when we’ve gone too far. We’ve enabled otherwise completely healthy people to demand and get special treatment for no other reason than they want it.  If someone whines enough – kid, parent, or adult – we’re supposed to change all the rules for them.  They get special privileges not given to others, excused from selfish and bad behavior, and preferred treatment.

The more people who do this get rewarded, the more other people want the same.  It cascades exponentially as a result.  People already gaming the system inspire others to game the system as well.  As one former client said to me when he whipped out his handicap hang tag to zoom into a handicap-reserved spot before sprinting into a Staples, “everybody does it.”

This is from a guy who works out in a gym two hours a day and has no discernable handicap except occasional bouts with kidney stones. Other than that, he’s in perfect health and has been for years; there’s absolutely no reason he has a handicap tag. 

Except he wants one to park closer to restaurants and stores. 

I know plenty of people with real disabilities who need handicap parking spots. This jerk-off didn’t, nor did his partner who also used the same hang-tag for close-in parking.  

But hey, both of them have “special needs.” Like wanting to park closer.   

You see the same thing with emotional support animals. To be clear, I’m not talking about real service animals, like guide dogs and other specially trained animals to help the truly disabled. 

Nope, I’m talking about ordinary pets people claim to need for emotional support. They get a note from some hack doctor that they need to bring their dog, cat, ferret, peacock or duck with them everywhere so they don’t feel anxious. Or they simply skip the bogus note and go online to buy a service/support animal vest for their furry or feathered friend. 

These pets have no special skills. Their special talent is that they “comfort” their owners, which isn’t unique.  After all, isn’t the sole purpose of most pets to give comfort to their owners? 

Emotional support animals are increasingly frequent flyers. Instead of leaving their pet at home, more people are claiming they need them to reduce their anxiety about flying. 

Do you get anxious about flying? Doesn’t everyone?  I bet even pilots are anxious about flying, which is a good thing – I’d hate to think pilots don’t worry some about flying.

Having your dog, cat or whatever with you so you don’t feel anxious about flying has become utter BS. What’s that animal going to do for you that hitting the drink cart for a double won’t? 

Face it: most people on planes with “comfort” animals just want to show how special they are and/or take Muffy, Fluffy, Barfy or Captain Sprinkles on an adventure without paying for it. 

They are the same weasels who “blue-shoe” their way on board early yet once on seem perfectly fine. Or those who try to muscle enough luggage for an Everest Expedition on as “carry on” using their little kids as Sherpas to evade the “one-personal-item-per-person” rule.  

Special, special, special.  Sheesh. 

Clearly indulging all these “special” people is getting out of hand.

Before I go any further, let me say I have nothing against pets.  I love most dogs, except pugs – sorry they are hideously ugly (and no, they are not so ugly they’re cute). I’m okay with most cats, too.  But aside from certified guide and service dogs, I don’t want to see pets on planes.

And in other places where they don’t belong.  I especially don’t want to see ordinary pets in grocery stores or restaurants. Yet many special people think it’s cute to bring their dog along to those places.  It’s not cute; it’s disrespectful to everyone else and it’s also a health issue. 

How so? Well, for starters your dog licks its butt then licks your hand. Okay?  Despite what you want to believe, your dog’s spit is not magically antiseptic. Don’t share it.       

The sad part is I expect the special-needs landslide to only accelerate. We’re training entire generations to assert their rights to be held to different standards than everyone else. 

Because they have special needs.

I read in a recent WSJ article about the problems colleges are having accommodating the ever-expanding pool of students with special needs.

We’re not talking about bona fide disabilities; we’re talking about students who can’t deal with the “stress” of modern college life, what with all the studying, testing, and social pressures that may make them feel a bit anxious.  You know, the same stuff those of us who went to college endured – and somehow survived – when we were there. 

To listen to today’s college students, it’s much worse today. They are actually expected to squeeze in studying, and to pass exams, which is highly inconvenient, apparently, to many of them. So, they are claiming “special needs” to get more time to take exams, the right to get up and walk around during class, and the right to take exams alone because they are bothered by having other people in the room. And school administrators are giving them all that.   

Some colleges are already providing “crying rooms” for overwrought students upset by elections.  Safe spaces for those who might be damaged by hurtful speech. And on and on.

Good job, colleges. You’re reinforcing that nobody has to do anything they don’t like, or be held to the same standards, if they merely claim to have “special needs.” 

I wonder how well that training will pan out when these snowflakes hit the workforce. I would love to be there the first time one of them tells their boss the task they’ve been given makes them too anxious, so they’re simply not going to do it. Or they miss a critical deadline because “something came up” online that upset them.  Or when one of them goes to tears over a bad performance review and has their mom or dad try to intervene on their behalf.

That is presuming they ever even try to join the workforce. Which I doubt.   

It’s probably going to a deal-breaker when they discover nobody in the real world gives a damn about their made-up “special needs,” regardless of what mommy and daddy have told them.

More to the point, they’ll find when everyone has “special needs” their own “special need” isn’t all that “special” anymore. When you flood the zone with made-up “special needs” the only people who stand out – the only ones worth paying attention to anymore – are those without any.

Those will be the people who aren’t constantly demanding the rules be changed just for them.  Or that rules and common courtesy don’t apply to them because they are so special.

And those will be the people getting along and working with others, instead of just whining.