Intro

It's time for a reality check ...

Maybe we’ve reached the point of diminishing astonishment.

But I suspect that much of what we’re hammered with every day really doesn’t make much of an impact on most of us anymore. We’ve heard the same stories too often. We’ve been exposed to the same issues for so long without any meaningful resolution. We recognize that reality is rapidly becoming malleable, primarily in the hands of whoever has the biggest microphone. How else can we explain a society where myth asserts itself as reality, based entirely how many hits it gets online?

We know that many of the “issues” as defined are pure crapola, hyped by politicians on both sides pandering to “the will of the people,” which is still more crapola. Inevitably, it’s not the will of all the people they reflect, but the will of relatively small groups of people with disproportionate political influence.

Nobody wants to face up to the realities of the issues. Nobody wants to say what’s right or wrong – even when it’s obvious and there are numbers to back it up. Most of us are afraid to bring up the realities for fear of being accused of being insensitive or downright mean.

So we say nothing. Until now.

It’s time for a reality check on the fundamentals – much of which is common knowledge to many of us, already. But it might be comforting to know you are not alone …

Tuesday, December 18, 2012


The elephant in the room

The tragedy in Connecticut horrifies us all. 

Even the toughest among us struggles to hold back tears when we see the pictures of those innocent children, teachers and staff gunned down for no reason at all. 

The stories of their young lives, cut down by a madman, break our hearts.  These were just kids – most 6 or 7 years old, and teachers and staff that lost their lives trying to protect them. 

They did nothing wrong.  They didn’t deserve this.  No one does, especially not children.

Now the soul searching begins.

Some will blame too-easy access to guns and ammo.  Some will blame the failure of schools to have better security.  Others will say we need to do a better job on mental health issues.

A few brave souls will address our culture that increasingly glorifies violence through movies, video games, music, and television.  As older adults, we may be somewhat out of touch with what today’s children, teens and 20-somethings are bombarded with.  Or the desensitizing effect all this might be having on them.      

And that’s certainly an important discussion to have. 

But the elephant in the room – the one that everyone apparently tries to ignore – is the role of the parents of monsters in all this. 

That’s right, parents.  Especially parents who seem to be asleep at the switch when it comes to seeing their offspring careening toward disturbing behavior, and do nothing.  Or worse, ignore all the warning signs and pretend that they don’t know something is desperately wrong. 

Now not everybody is equipped to be a good role model.  Or has the skills to raise children properly so they don’t become murderers, rapists or other violent offenders.  Or has the willpower to admit that their offspring is mentally damaged and needs help, and gets that help.     

That’s crystal clear. 

In fact, in this latest massacre the shooter’s mother bought all the weapons he used, and trained him how to use them.  She also knew he was mentally ill.  He’d been declared mentally incompetent by some court already.  Yet she enabled him – what was she thinking?

We’ll never know.  He murdered her as well. 

The Columbine mass murderers’ parents claimed they had no idea what their kids were up to.  That’s disingenuous at best, given what we now know.  They had to know something was wrong – why on Earth did they ignore the clear signs?  Why didn’t they tell authorities? 

I’m so tired of hearing parents of killers claim that their son or daughter “was a good kid.”  And that they were ignorant of their kids’ tendency toward violence.   

I’m equally tired of hearing that schools and counselors told these parents their children had serious emotional and mental problems, and the parents did nothing. 

Look, as a parent your job is to raise your kid right.  Do your job.  Use diligence.  Know what your kids are doing at all times.  Go ahead and impose on their “freedom”; it’s your right – nay, your obligation as a parent – to be aware of what they are doing, what they are buying, what they are watching, and who they are associating with. 

If you see a problem, address it.  Don’t think because they are looking for recipes online to build pipe bombs that “it’s just a phase.”  Or that the padlock they put on their bedroom door is just to insure their “right to privacy.”

And for Christ’s sake, if they are buying body armor, call the police now. 

Better that you put your foot down before they put the hammer down and kill someone. 

Before we pass another gun law, or increase the numbers of counselors in schools, we should pass a law that holds parents responsible for raising their kids properly. 

It’s time to stop ignoring the elephant in the living room.  We need to make “Reckless Parenting” a serious crime with significant jail time for repeat offenses. 

My heart goes out to all the parents and families of those slaughtered in Connecticut.  I simply cannot imagine the pain and anguish you are going through.  America mourns with you. 

I only hope this event’s a wakeup call for other parents everywhere to start taking their job more seriously. 

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