The elephant in the
room
The tragedy in Connecticut horrifies us all.
Even the toughest among us struggles to hold back tears when
we see the pictures of those innocent children, teachers and staff gunned down
for no reason at all.
The stories of their young lives, cut down by a madman,
break our hearts. These were just kids –
most 6 or 7 years old, and teachers and staff that lost their lives trying to
protect them.
They did nothing wrong.
They didn’t deserve this. No one
does, especially not children.
Now the soul searching begins.
Some will blame too-easy access to guns and ammo. Some will blame the failure of schools to
have better security. Others will say we
need to do a better job on mental health issues.
A few brave souls will address our culture that increasingly
glorifies violence through movies, video games, music, and television. As older adults, we may be somewhat out of
touch with what today’s children, teens and 20-somethings are bombarded
with. Or the desensitizing effect all
this might be having on them.
And that’s certainly an important discussion to have.
But the elephant in the room – the one that everyone
apparently tries to ignore – is the role of the parents of monsters in all
this.
That’s right, parents.
Especially parents who seem to be asleep at the switch when it comes to
seeing their offspring careening toward disturbing behavior, and do
nothing. Or worse, ignore all the
warning signs and pretend that they don’t know something is desperately
wrong.
Now not everybody is equipped to be a good role model. Or has the skills to raise children properly
so they don’t become murderers, rapists or other violent offenders. Or has the willpower to admit that their
offspring is mentally damaged and needs help, and gets that help.
That’s crystal clear.
In fact, in this latest massacre the shooter’s mother bought
all the weapons he used, and trained him how to use them. She also knew he was mentally ill. He’d been declared mentally incompetent by
some court already. Yet she enabled him –
what was she thinking?
We’ll never know. He
murdered her as well.
The Columbine mass murderers’ parents claimed they had no
idea what their kids were up to. That’s
disingenuous at best, given what we now know.
They had to know something was wrong – why on Earth did they ignore the
clear signs? Why didn’t they tell
authorities?
I’m so tired of hearing parents of killers claim that their
son or daughter “was a good kid.” And
that they were ignorant of their kids’ tendency toward violence.
I’m equally tired of hearing that schools and counselors told
these parents their children had serious emotional and mental problems, and the
parents did nothing.
Look, as a parent your job is to raise your kid right. Do your job.
Use diligence. Know what your
kids are doing at all times. Go ahead
and impose on their “freedom”; it’s your right – nay, your obligation as a
parent – to be aware of what they are doing, what they are buying, what they
are watching, and who they are associating with.
If you see a problem, address it. Don’t think because they are looking for recipes
online to build pipe bombs that “it’s just a phase.” Or that the padlock they put on their bedroom
door is just to insure their “right to privacy.”
And for Christ’s sake, if they are buying body armor, call
the police now.
Better that you put your foot down before they put the
hammer down and kill someone.
Before we pass another gun law, or increase the numbers of counselors
in schools, we should pass a law that holds parents responsible for raising
their kids properly.
It’s time to stop ignoring the elephant in the living
room. We need to make “Reckless
Parenting” a serious crime with significant jail time for repeat offenses.
My heart goes out to all the parents and families of those
slaughtered in Connecticut. I simply
cannot imagine the pain and anguish you are going through. America mourns with you.
I only hope this event’s a wakeup call for other parents
everywhere to start taking their job more seriously.
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