Reality check for some snowbirds ...

If you’ve never heard that term before, it’s what Chamber of Commerce types call “seasonal residents” in Florida. To us full-time Florida residents, they’re snowbirds – only here a few months a year before they migrate back to where they’re from, typically some place up north.

Here in The Villages we mark our seasons by when snowbirds come and when they leave. I suspect it’s the same in in many other Florida “adult lifestyle” (retirement) communities.

The northerners who own property in these communities usually start to flock south in late fall and migrate back north in April. In The Villages, the snowbirds add about 20% to our full-time population during those months. That’s about 30,000 more people than normal here.   

When they’re here, traffic is worse. Restaurants are more crowded and it’s harder to get a reservation.  Generally, there’s increased rudeness everywhere – when driving, when shopping in grocery stores, when dining out, in bars, pretty much wherever we go.

Part of that is simply because there are more people; but part is also because of the attitude of some snowbirds. Some tend to leave their manners back home, wherever that is. Some act like they are paying guests at a fancy resort where they expect first-class treatment, and special privileges, all the time. If they don’t get what they want instantly, they’re outraged.

You’ll see them bullying the waitstaffs at local restaurants, cutting you off in traffic, ignoring stop signs, jumping lines at checkout, and generally being assholes.      

Now, that’s not to say all snowbirds are bad, obnoxious people; most are quite nice and courteous. Some of them are just transitioning from working full time to retirement, so their Florida property is part of that plan. They are good neighbors, good people, and we’re happy to see them back.

But nobody – and I mean nobody – likes the obnoxious snowbirds. We dread their return.

Local businesses may like the added income while they’re here, and they do add to the local economy.  However, we locals support local businesses and restaurants all year long and bristle when we suddenly see prices rise and service fall when the snowbirds are here. 

I’m not faulting all snowbirds.  As I said, most of them are nice.  Most of them want to fit in and be good neighbors. We like them. I want to be crystal clear about that.  

Yet there are always too many obnoxious, demanding snowbirds who seem to think they are extra special. And that somehow everybody here owes them a great deal of deference because they’re graced us with their presence. 

This advice is for them:

First, believe it or not, most of us haven’t been waiting breathlessly for your return.  When you left we didn’t put our lives on hold.  We did the same things we always do, whether you’re here or not. Don’t expect us to change anything just because you’re back. You’ll be disappointed.

We’re just as eager to hear about everything you did while you were gone as you are to hear about everything we did until you got back. Which is to say, not much.

Unless you donated or received an organ, recovered from a catastrophic illness, or saved someone from a burning building, don’t expect us to be in awe, hanging on your every word. We especially don’t care to hear about how you can’t retire yet because your employer can’t survive without you, or how you can’t move down permanently because your grandchildren would be heartbroken if you did. That comes off as incredibly self-centered. 

Honestly, most of us don’t care what you do.  Nothing in our lives will change regardless of what you do, or don’t do.  Yours might; ours won’t. Have some perspective.      

Next, every time you come back you essentially start over in terms of social dynamics and group activities. That’s because we never know exactly when you’ll be here or when you won’t.  We’re not holding spots or saving a place for you because you might be here; we’ll only do that when you’re already here and there’s an opening.

And only if we actually want to – that last point is important.

We don’t actually owe you anything because you show up now and then, which may surprise you. It shouldn’t. Months have passed since you were last here. Times change, situations change.  And you’ll only be here for a little while anyway.  Get over it. 

On that note, get over yourself, too.  Everything here surprisingly ran just fine without you. We muddled on quite nicely without your input. Please remember that you’re getting on a bus that’s already moving and has been for most of the year; you’re not driving the bus just because you’re back.  You can’t just show up now and expect everything suddenly to revolve around you.

Oh, and while I’m at it, you should know that we don’t care about your political leanings. You should keep them to yourself.  You probably haven’t noticed but most of us don’t talk about politics in social settings. It’s considered poor taste.  That should have been obvious the first time you started ranting about politics and the room suddenly went silent.    

Finally, if you don’t like it here – your property, the neighbors, the restaurants, the community, whatever – you don’t have to constantly remind us.  

Once was enough; more than once is annoying. 

Moreover, we have nothing to do with the fact that you can’t find a “real” New York bagel, a Philly cheesesteak like Pat’s, a good Chicago-style pizza, or whatever food you grew up with. It might come as a shock, but your Florida community was never designed to be New York, Philly, Chicago, or wherever up north you came from in terms of food.  Nor in terms of taxes, crime and weather – which, after all, is why you wanted to have property here in the first place.  

If you really don’t like it here, sell your property and move elsewhere. 

Someone else will be happy to take your place.  And we might like them better.