Even though it’s painfully obvious.
The woman’s got serious mental problems. She’s had them her
entire life. Still does.
Now, something may have happened in her youth to aggravate
these. Or maybe not. But it’s pretty clear she’s still desperately
searching for a reason – something or someone she can blame – for why she’s
been an emotional basket case all these years. And still is.
Before anyone thinks I’m victim shaming, I’m not. Sexual assault is a serious matter. It takes
a lot of courage for a victim of sexual assault to come forward. Some victims
believe they are somehow responsible for their assault. I understand why
victims are hesitant to go public.
At the same time it’s unrealistic to believe nobody – nobody
– ever lies about being assaulted, or misrepresents an event that may or
may not have happened. Sometimes it’s for revenge. Sometimes – as in the Duke Lacrosse team
fiasco – it’s a desire for a payoff. Sometimes – as in the bogus “rape culture” at
UVA reported by Rolling Stone – it’s to push a false narrative.
Sometimes it’s also just after-the-fact remorse – you
realize you made a really bad decision one night to have consensual sex with
someone you wish, in hindsight, you hadn’t.
And, to be perfectly honest, sometimes it’s to create an ever-ready
excuse for why you have emotional or relationship problems for years. Whether
or not anything ever actually happened, or to what degree, people will almost
always take your word and have sympathy.
Sadly, that’s why some have falsely claimed to have been sexually
assaulted.
It’s easy to accuse someone of sexual assault,
especially in this day and age. Accusers, male and female, have come out of the
woodwork because of the #metoo movement.
In a perverse reversal of traditional standards, the accused are now
automatically deemed guilty and have the burden to prove they are innocent.
That’s not how justice works or has for centuries here.
Rape and attempted rape are serious crimes. They are felonies for good reason.
Accusations of rape and attempted rape need to be investigated by law
enforcement. Sexual harassment is also covered by law. Unwanted groping and grinding are more
difficult to prove but still against the law.
No one should take lightly allegations of any of these.
While it's easy to accuse someone of sexual assault, it takes
guts and determination to prove it. It
also takes evidence, however. The name and description of the assailant. The circumstances. Details about the time and place. At least some corroboration about when and
where it happened. Who you told
afterward, and when. And if possible a police report.
Admittedly, that’s a lot to ask of someone who has just been
sexually assaulted. It’s almost impossible to prove alleged sexual assault 30
or more years later, short of a confession by the accused or a credible
eyewitness to the assault.
Just as it was impossible to prove by Ford. She couldn’t
confirm the time, the place, who else was there, or provide corroboration by
the people she named as witnesses to her claim.
Did she make it all up? I don’t know. We’ll never know. I’m certain she believes it happened. To her it was all very real and very traumatic. Although she never told anyone about it for
30 years. It only came up in a couple’s
therapy session in 2012.
And she was in couple’s therapy, by her own account, because
she and her husband were arguing about adding a second front door to their
house.
Yes, they were in couple’s therapy over a door.
She said she wanted the second front door because she was claustrophobic,
which is also why she says doesn’t like to fly. It all stems – she says – from the time she
claims she was held down and groped by a drunken Brett Kavanaugh when she was
15.
Something that only came out in couple’s therapy in
2012.
Now she also blames that same event for why she had
difficulty in her first two years at UNC, which would have been three to five years after the alleged sexual assault. Why she’s had trouble with
relationships ever since. And, I
suppose, why she needed therapy over the years, culminating with the need for
outside counseling to deal with a disagreement over a door.
Watching her testify the other day saddened me. I felt sorry for her because she obviously
believes the alleged assault by Kavanaugh is the cause for all her mental and
emotional problems. She has so much invested in that belief that’s the reason
for everything in her troubled life.
Even when obvious contradictions in her testimony and
ever-changing accounts were revealed, she never wavered. That’s how strongly
she needs to defend her premise. It’s
everything to her belief system. Her whole world crumbles if she concedes she
might be wrong.
The inconsistencies in what she and her attorneys have said
are not minor. They are glaring holes that call into question just about
everything else.
For someone supposedly terrified to fly, and why she needed
much more time to drive cross-country to a hearing, she admitted she flies a
lot to domestic and overseas destinations, including at least twice in the days
leading up to her appearance. When she was reminded that Grassley had offered
to fly the committee and staffers out to her to accommodate her alleged fear of
flying – an offer widely reported by every news outlet and certainly
communicated to her attorneys – she insisted she never heard of the offer. When her best friend from high school flatly
refuted Ford’s assertion that she was at the same party that night, or even
that she and Ford had ever been at a party with Kavanaugh, Ford dismissed that as
understandable because her friend was dealing with health issues.
The longer this stays open, the more she “remembers” about
the event. She now “remembers” the layout of the house, but not roughly where
it is, how as a 15-year-old she got there or how she got home, or even which and how many
boys and girls were there.
She now “remembers” she saw Mark Judge – someone she claims
participated in the assault, and who has repeatedly said he has no memory of
the party, much less the assault – at his job about five to six weeks later and
he was visibly shaken to see her. She
wants his employment records so she can narrow down when the alleged assault
happened; in effect she wants to use where he worked and when to try to get an
approximate date for the alleged assault, since she’s not even sure what year
it was, or the time of year, either.
Sorry, but no. This
has gone on long enough. Every “new”
revelation by Ford seems manufactured. Some directly contradict what she said
earlier. In short, it appears she’s now evolving and embellishing memories on the fly.
Nobody wants to say this, but I will: none of this makes any
sense at all except to her and her supporters.
I don’t find her allegations about Kavanaugh credible at all. I don’t doubt for a minute she believes what
she’s saying, however. But belief and
proof are different.
It’s not just a case of “he-said, she-said.” It’s more a
case of absolutely no evidence except a “recovered” memory 30-some years later,
versus sworn testimony from everyone the alleged victim claims could
corroborate her story, including her best friend at the time, that they don’t
remember anything about it, or even being at some party like this with her.
I have real sympathy for victims of sexual assault. Honestly I do. But sympathy alone doesn’t cut it, especially
given the gravity of the claims she’s made against Kavanaugh.
Unless she or the FBI can present some
incontrovertible proof – besides her memory, which has shown to be spotty at
best – I’m more inclined to believe Kavanaugh.
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